Sprinting Into Happiness with a Different Kind of Plan

Sometimes it is just in the running.  In the being.  In the "in the moment" living.  In many ways this is how my word/phrase "Sprinting Toward Happiness" lives with me.  The phrase "sprinting into happiness" chose me and it is evolving with my word from last year, "open-heartedness", to a whole new level.  Please see my last two entries when I  talked about the morphing of my 2015 word and my new word/phrase for 2016.

I am a believer in creating an intention and using that intention to make a new reality.  I look at creating a word for the year as a way of creating an intention.  I want to create a space in my life for that word to take root in a grounded, deep way.  I also see different ways to make an intention a reality.  One path is in the allowing.  And the other is in the creating.  One is more reflective.  The other is more active.

I have lived in the active, goal-setting world for most of my life.  That place has served me and helped me accomplish many things in my life.  It is a world where I take control and I make happen.  There have been times in my life that I have systematically made goals in the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual domains and worked actively in fulfilling those goals.  I saw movement.  I took action.   I saw movement.   In many ways I look at this approach as a masculine 'get things done' pathway.

This sprint, though, is opening up a place of receptivity for me.  A place where life happens in the being.  A place where I let go of control and allow the intention to unfold.  It has been a scarier, more vulnerable space.  A more feminine 'allowing' pathway.  One where I can't measure growth and look at specific actions that bring me from step A to step B.  One where a focus on the intention in softer ways opens me to being in that space.  One where I can't check off accomplishments or tasks but can look back and see me changing into the intention that I set.

How does that that play out for me?   The key for me in the allowing is actually in the noticing.   Several things that I do allow that noticing to grow.

• I created a happiness jar.  Elizabeth Gilbert talks about happiness jars as a way to document times of happiness in her life.  She talks about how she sometimes notices some of her happiest moments in the midst of deep sadness.  I want to notice happiness in all forms, so everyday at the end of my day, I spend a few moments reflecting on times of happiness that occurred for me during the day.  Sometimes I write them down much like I would a gratitude list.  One of those moments are added to my jar for me to view in moments when happiness might seem fleeting.
• I set an intention for happiness nightly so that I can sleep with the intention and live it the next day.   Sometimes I forget my intention as I live my day and am amazed in my evening reflection how that intention played out even though I might not have thought about it through the day.   This intention will look different on various days.  For instance, this week one day my intention was to find happiness in my writing.  I chose to write a poem the next day when I perused my journal as an action to make my intention realized.  Another day, my intention was to find happiness in relationships. That day I chose to by create an online space for allowing dating to enter my life again.  Today my intention was to allow a space for happiness and there are no particular actions that I am setting out to do except in the noticing.  Not every day has specific actions.  They all end with a time of reflection where I notice how that intention was made real that day.
• In the morning, before I get out of bed, I put one hand on my heart and the other on my belly and asking myself, "What do I need today in my sprint toward happiness?"  I listen to what my body says.  Does it say I need to get more sleep?  Does it say I need to call my daughter to connect?  Does it say find a way to connect with laughter?  Does it say to notice my hunger today and eat till I am full?  I allow myself to notice what is happening inside and around me to allow for my happiness sprint to form roots along the way.
• Sometimes it is about stopping in the middle of the day to take a few deep breaths and remember.  My job is very busy and I don't feel like I have enough time, yet, I have taken to shutting my door once or twice a day for about five minutes to just breathe and notice.  Which actually makes me more effective in all that I do throughout the day (an added benefit to noticing:),

An allowing stance can lead to taking an action or creating a goal.  Sometimes it in in the being.  And sometimes it is in the doing.  When doing arises from being that goal arises from an entirely different place.  It no longer is about pushing through.  It is about letting grow.  It is not about holding tight.  It is about letting go.  It is about allowing grace to unfold.  The process becomes gift.  Last year my desire for open-heartedness became a great gift as I allowed it to open in me.  This year I desire to allow the same in my sprint into happiness.

It is about the allowing.  Sometimes it is just in the running.  In the being.  In the "in the moment" living.   Allowing a space to be is where grace unfolds and happiness emerges.  A space of gift.

My 2016 Word for the Year

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

                                     ~T.S.Eliot

We are coming to the close of 2015 and welcoming in the beginning of 2016.  I have started the year for many years now by choosing a word to serve as a guide and light my path as I enter into the next year.  Below are words that have chosen me since 2010.

2010 Word—Gratitude
2011 Word—Connectedness
2012 Word—Courage
2013 Word—Celebrate
2014 Word—Playful 
2015 Word—Me to Spaciousness to Open-hearted (I spoke about how my word morphed over the course of last year.  To read more about this click here.

My word of the year for this year is really a continuation of the morphing of 2015.  As I close 2015, I am in a place of open-heartedness.  This place comes with both heartbreak and joy.  Both of which have made my heart more tender and have made me realize the gifts around me in a myriad of ways. Yesterday a friend showed me a video of a new baby hearing her mom's voice and sweetly smiling.  With an open heart I could view that video and feel overwhelming joy.  This happens all of the time. An overwhelming of gratitude that comes with an open heart.  As I listen to the gospel choir at church on Christmas Eve.  As I say goodbye to a dear friend.  As I see my son choose health.  As I am surprised with a gift given by my daughter.  Moments in life have become alive as I experience them with openness.

I am bringing that openness to 2016 with my new word.  I have known for about a month that this will be my word going into the next year.  It is actually the next morph of open-heartedness.  My word for 2016 is HAPPINESS.  And I want to make that word a verb in some ways--an action.  I have framed my word in this way...I am running toward happiness.  Actually, I am sprinting toward happiness.   David Whyte in his poem "The TrueLove" names for me what the jaunt toward happiness is.  It is a lovely poem--one (probably the only one) that I wish I actually wrote.  It names my journey as of late in a way that I wish I would have named myself.  I am running toward happiness.   And “finally after all of this struggle and all of these years, I don’t want to the struggle anymore.  I want to live and I want to love and I will walk (run/sprint) across any territory and any darkness however fluid and however dangerous to take the one hand I know belongs in mine.” Please see the entire poem here.

That one hand that belongs in mine presents itself to me in a variety of ways.  It is the hand of the one who loves me.  The hand of my child.  The hand of my God.  My hand as I become more of who I am meant to be and grow in self-love.  The hand of open-heartedness.  The hand of authenticity.  The hand of love.  

This year I run toward happiness--sprint actually.  Running toward the hand that is rightfully mine.  Running towards the hand that belongs in mine.

Happy 2016!  May this new year bring each of us to a place of belonging.

 

The Morphing of My Word for the Year 2015

I started my year in 2015 with a full plate.  The year before was an over-the-top year!  Work was magnified by a commute, a huge need for written curriculum and generous consulting opportunities.  Major family issues added to the mix...all leaving me gasping for air.   I entered the year needing space...needing a focus on me.  From this space my word for the year emerged and with that emergence it has morphed as the year continued.  On January 1 the word I chose was "Me".  I wanted...I needed a focus on me.  I needed to find that place where I existed outside of the confines of all that was being asked of me.

As the year continued my word changed from "Me" to "Spaciousness".  I began to create white space in my life.  Space that was mine.  Like an empty plate that welcomed food but not one overwhelmed with mounds of mindless choices, I chose to focus on the container which was the base.  The plate of me created white space.  I chose the portions and the tastings of my life in a way that allowed for me to emerge.  The stuff of my life was chosen and placed on my container with focus on the white space that existed between each choice.  An intention on spaciousness served me well.

Then this summer my word morphed again.  Living within the confines of spaciousness created desire to live my life more fully.  More vulnerably.  More lively.  My word changed from "Spaciousness" to "Open-hearted".  My heart became open to me and was opening to others in ways that I hadn't realized was closed.  I found love.  I found heart break.  I found an aliveness that comes from risking for love.  For me.  For another.

And now, with an open heart this year is coming to a close.  I started my year with a full plate and am ending it in the very same way.  This year was an over-the-top year once again.  Work, which taps my creativity and my desire to give back, continues to demand my best.  Family illness has taken a toll.  But somehow, I am different.  I have morphed from needing to claim me, to needing to create space for me, to living in the world with an open-heart.  Open to me and open to the circumstances that I encounter with a desire to respond to those circumstances with compassion and clarity.  Open to the possibilities to love and be loved.  Open to finding love in the eyes of a child, the eyes of a friend, the eyes of a stranger, the eyes of self, the eyes of a lover.   A me year.  A spacious year.  An open-hearted year.  A very good year indeed!

Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for dedicating space and time for teachers and teachers of literacy to come together to share ideas, practice and life experience.

Feed the Right Voice

Choice has been a big word for me this year.   I have written previously about how we cannot always choose our circumstances, but we can ALWAYS choose how to respond to our circumstances.  Last week, in a beginning staff meeting, we discussed ways that we can choose our inner dialogue as a way to create satisfaction and a sense of purpose.    Consider this Fable:

ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY

CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS

GRANDSON ABOUT A BATTLE THAT

GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.

HE SAID "MY SON, THE BATTLE IS

BETWEEN TWO 'WOLVES' INSIDE US ALL.

ONE IS EVIL. IT IS ANGER,

ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW,

REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE,

SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT,

INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE,

SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.

THE OTHER IS GOOD.

IT IS JOY, PEACE, LOVE, HOPE, SERENITY,

HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE,

EMPATHY, GENEROSITY,

TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH."

THE GRANDSON THOUGH ABOUT

IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED

HIS GRANDFATHER:  "WHICH WOLF WINS?..."

THE OLD CHEROKEE SIMPLY REPLIED,

"THE ONE THAT YOU FEED"

We each have both voices inside of us.  Sometimes one is louder than the other.  How can we feed the good wolf that produces joy, peace love and all of those other attributes that bring a sense of fulfillment and positivity?   Here are a couple of practices that I do to bring out that voice I want to feed.

• I make a list of my blessings at the end of every day a practice.  It is how I journal in the evening and how I end my day.   If in the middle of the day, the wolf I don’t choose to feed is breaking into my thoughts, listing five blessings right then and there is a good way to break the negativity.   This year our school is noting those things we want to feed in our school.  Every day each of us is listing something positive that occurs every day during the school year.  I know for me, this list will be a well of support when I have a dark day and nothing seems to be positive.
• As I do my evening journal, I set an intention for the next day, based on what I think I might need to help me maintain that centered place.  Today my intention is to have relaxed productivity.  I knew that today would be non-stop and, when setting my intention, I knew that I would need to be relaxed within the productivity to keep feeding the wolf I want to nourish.  Having this intention allows me to hold that space through the day.

There are days that the wolf that brings us down grabs a hold of us.  On those days, negative feelings and thoughts naturally creep in.  When I was a principal in a primary school, there were those days when I thought I could do nothing correctly and my negative thoughts were bigger than life.  In those instances I would often reflect on what I was feeling and the whys of that feeling.  If the feeling was based on something I could control, I might make an action.  Sometimes I realized that I was overly tired.  In cases like that, I might choose to not make any big decisions and to get a good night’s sleep the next night.  I am always amazed at how a good night’s sleep changes perspective.  Those days came less and less as I quietly and gently looked at what was happening inside and acknowledged and supported the voice that gives me power.

What are ways that you feed the positive wolf?  How do you teach your students to do the same?

Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for dedicating space and time for teachers and teachers of literacy to come together to share ideas, practice and life experience.

My Footprint

This week for Spiritual Thursday, we were invited to write about leaving a legacy.   Thank you to Holly Mueller and to all of the others who contribute their words.

"When you let go of who you wish you were, you reclaim your power to be radiantly, magnetically, and creatively who you are."                                ~Heather Ash Amara                                                                                                                    

I have not often thought about my legacy or leaving a legacy.  Yet we all leave our footprints.  A charmed legacy is one for which, as Amara states in her wise words, one lets go of what is wanted, to stand in the power and the grace of who one truly is.  To leave a charmed legacy is to choose to live life fully…sincerely.  To live through suffering, embracing the tears as signs of a life that touches and is touched deeply--even when a heart is broken.  To live through joy, allowing the well of happiness to be planted deeply within, spreading to others in daily touches--a heart overflowing.  Accepting each moment for what it is--both with its blessings and its sadnesses.  To lead a charmed life one embraces abundance rather than bemoans scarcity.   To live a charmed life one accepts the gift of who one is--with warts and beauty alike, allowing that life to flourish in any and all circumstances.  Living in this space is how I want my footprint to be formed.  How I wish to mark my legacy.

Momentous moments in my life have given me glimpses of my legacy. Times of change--moving from one city to another, going from one school to another, leaving one house for another.  Times of great joy--marriage, birth, life celebrations.  Times of devastating sadness--death, loss of a child’s dreams, loss of a beloved job.  At these pivotal moments, grace to see what is true is given and glimpses of how one lives life can occur.

But those moments are not what a legacy makes.  It is in the day-to-day steps we take…in the ordinary choices that our footprint is cast.  Do I see the extraordinary in the ordinary?  Am I kind--to myself as well as others?  Am I caring?  Do I live my life with integrity and honesty?  Do I laugh…daily?  Do I hug those I love?  Am I open to hugging those I don’t love?  Do I work hard?  Play hard?  Live passionately?  Do I enjoy something--anything on a daily basis?  Even in boredom, do I strive to be alive?  Do I stay awake even when I want to numb or sleep?  Do I forgive myself when I am not perfect?  Do I forgive others the same?  Do I acknowledge all I am given (event those things I might not want) with gratitude? Do I accept what is with grace?  Do I give my gifts and accept the gifts I have to give with humility?  These acts will leave the footprint of the legacy I want to leave. 

The daily-ness of a life given often doesn’t present opportunities to reflect on legacy.  Like I said, I don’t really think about leaving a legacy.  But I don’t really have to think about it.  To leave a charmed legacy one only needs to choose to live life fully, step by step, allowing the grace of who one truly is to be shown. Transformed in the extraordinary beauty of the ordinary of each day.  A footprint is formed.