This week I have had two separate incidents that have
reminded me of the fragility and the gift of the mind. And the importance of gratitude.
I celebrated the passing of a friend this week. At sixty years old, Mary passed away in the
late stages of what was an early onset of dementia. Her daughter eulogized her, stating that
before the disease and throughout the disease her mother never lost touch with
the essence of goodness that was innately a part of Mary’s personality. She told lovely stories of Mary’s love for
her husband and children, her giving spirit.
She painted a picture of her mother who, even at the height of her
disease, continued to express care for her family, owning a disposition that to
the end always showed love to those who most cared for her. Her daughter spoke of Mary’s instinct toward
gratitude and how her gracious spirit, until the end, filled those around her.
I also had a conversation with someone I care about who is currently
in a nursing home. Steve has advanced
Parkinson’s disease and with the mixing
of medicines and a personality that leans toward fear, has frequent episodes of
paranoia. Our conversation was a vehicle to quell his
fear by my naming for him the good in his life and helping him remember. Together we listed all for which he was
grateful. We remembered his friends, his
children and his family, memories of a once full life, his aides who care for
him, an evening meal, a book he likes, his paintings, and the list went on…. As he acknowledged these places of gratitude,
his fear subsided, replaced momentarily by peace and love. Steve
allowedf those around him to lead him to a place of gratitude and fear slipped away.
These two and separate incidents have made me wonder how, in
the midst of advanced chronic illness, people respond so differently to their
world. Both have fragile and changing minds. Both have dispositions that create a space
that responds to the world in a very different way. Both have essences that are rooted in love and
loved ones. Mary was rooted in her
goodness and responded in love, bringing others with her till the end. Steve was rooted in his fear and through the love of others can be led to a place of love.
Both were brought to this place by gratitude. In Mary, her access to graciousness allowed
her to exude her goodness and share her connection to gratitude till the
end. In Steve, his fear can block his
access to gratitude and by allowing others who care for him to guide him he can
access and share this place of peace.
Different and not really so very different, after all.
What, you might ask, does this have to do with a writing
blog…an educator blog? As an educator, I
believe that as I interact with children and adults (I work with both), I am
interacting with the whole of the other.
As I set up a community of learners, whether that community is a school,
a classroom community, a writing community or a one day workshop, I want to set
up a space where all in the community can learn and grow. I don’t just want to impart knowledge,
although that is an important aspect of what I do—and I relish that part of my
work. I want to create community where
learning occurs and the whole of the people in the community thrive. Recognition and celebration of difference
supports this community. The Mary’s of a
community bring their gift to the community.
And the Steve’s do as well. And
somehow in the midst of this make-up of people brought together, gratitude is a
foundation. For some in the community
gratitude comes easily. For others, with
guidance and support, gratitude becomes realized. I wonder, as a leader and educator, how I can
create a learning climate for others, through writing, through conversation,
through acts of kindness, through example, where gratitude is known and each in
the community grows because of it.
Today I am grateful for Mary and
for Steve—both who showed me this week the importance of gratitude. Who showed me the fragility of one’s mind and
the ability of one’s spirit. Who showed
me the importance of others on a journey that leads to love and is fortified by
gratitude.
What and who are you grateful for
today?
