Belief is on my mind. But not in the way that I thought it would be. Last week I taught a leadership class and the focus was on belief. What are my beliefs about education? What are my beliefs about life? What are my beliefs about myself as a leader? How can I most fully live my beliefs? How can I create conditions that allow my beliefs to flourish? How can I support and lead a community that creates group principles guided by individual and group beliefs? That was what I was thinking about when I decided to write about belief earlier this week?
Then I lived today. And, as I stood by someone I love, my questions, for today, about belief changed. What happens when you are hanging by a thread of belief for yourself and a situation causes you to doubt that belief? What if a situation causes you to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop to show that you do belief in yourself only to, in the end, be told that is not good enough? What if being told that’s not good enough makes you feel desolate, driving belief in self further down so that it seems impossible to pull back up? What if the system doesn’t believe in you? What if, in that situation, you want to go to the very place the system believes you to be, believing it impossible to be anyplace else?
What do you hold on to in this place of utter disbelief? In a loss of words, I found myself saying over and over…I am so sorry. I am so sorry for your pain. I am so sorry that you aren’t seen.
I see you. I believe in you. And somehow, today, that is not enough.
Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for dedicating space and time for teachers and teachers of literacy to come together to share ideas, practice and life experience.